Pokemon Legendaries Abridged
by MewLover54
Summary: A funny Universe where Mew's a rapper, Celebi's brainless, Rotom's a rascist, Uxie's a Limey and Darkrai is a Pokemon Freddy Cougher! Mostly for comedy purposes, but will have traces of romance in there as well.
1. Chapter 1

ML54: This is something that I've always wanted to do! And I plan on asking a friend of mine from school for assistance.

Mew: On with it, dog!

ML54: I don't own Pokemon or a couple of these jokes.

**Mew's in da Hall**

Up in the atmosphere of Earth a strange rap music can be heard with the sound of a voice that sounds as if it were right next to you was resonating. "Oh yeah, time to battle. No wait, your knees are gonna rattle. I'm the best there is. Here's the ass you're gonna kiss..."

In a smoking research lab many humans trying to catch the pink cat that appeared to be rapping. As he was rapping, he was throwing blue, Aura Sphere moves at them. As soon as they were all down, Mew smirked and crossed his arms. "...Mew's in da house, bitch!"

"Mew!" A feminine voice resonated from behind him. He turned to see Arceus shake her head at him. "What have I told you about rapping, while killing many scientific humans and alerting everyone of your presence here to allow Team Rocket members to come later to take your DNA to make a humanoid clone of you that will attack and reek havoc on a small island that housed his birth in an attempt to make many pokemon clones only for it to fail when you come and stop him as well as Ash Ketchup to foil his plans and make him turn into an unexplained good guy in later series?" She asked with out taking a breath.

"That I...Actually you never told me not to do that. And did you just spoil the entire first movie?" Mew asked.

"Well I really shouldn't have to tell you! And there isn't a person on my created Earth that hasn't seen that movie!" She screamed at him. Mew shrugged.

"Whatever. You didn't tell me not to do it." Arceus put on a sarcastic tone.

"Oh yes that's right. I forgot how it works. I have to tell you every single thing not to do, in case you do decide to do it." She glared at the sheepish pink pokemon.

"Yeah. So you technically didn't tell me not to put honey in all of the dispensable soap. Or not to put explosives in the Pastoria Great Marsh."

Arceus nodded. "Yes I didn't tell you...WHAT?" She screamed when she realised what he had said. "Do you know how long that honey took to get out of my fur? C'mon lets go." She sighed, teleporting them back to Hall.

"And now you can replace all of the soap dispensers as well." Mew grumbled and went to do that.

"So I don't see why I'm helping you with this?" Rotom voiced, replacing a Soap dispenser.

"Because your my character's best friend and/or bitch. Nobody takes you seriously as a legendary anyway. All you do is run through cables anyway." Mew replied. "Man this is almost as bad as the time I took marijuana."

_Flashback_

"_ROTOM! Have you ever noticed how your feet are like hands for your legs!" A high Mew had asked._

"_I don't have either so no." Mew then got angry._

"_LEAVE CELERY OUT OF THIS!" He yelled, smacking Rotom over the head with his tail._

"_What? I didn't talk about vegetables?" He cried out desperately._

"_SO NOW YOU'RE CALLING MY GIRLFRIEND A VEGETABLE ARE YOU?" He yelled, throwing a plate at him._

"_NOT THE FINE CHINA!" Rotom cried, as he was smacked in the face. Mew then burst out crying._

"_NO! What happened to China?" _

"_You threw it at me!" Mew then burst out laughing._

"_I can't throw a Country, silly. I'm hungry. Got any Celery?"_

"Yeah. I still have nightmares about that." Rotom replied, as they made their way into the main hall of the Hall of Origins where Mew was glomped by Celebi.

"HIYA MEWY!" She declared, cheerfully. Mew, however, had fallen on his face from where Celebi had glomped him. "WHAT YA UP TO?"

"Other than making out with the floor, nothing much." He grumbled, looking up to see a hurt looking Celebi. He grew concerned. "What's up?"

"You're cheating on me with the floor!" She declared. The one thing about Celebi was that the lights were on in there, but nobody was home.

"No, no Celebi. Me and the floor have a brother/sister relationship going on. My feelings for you are way stronger." Celebi smiled brightly.

"Thanks MAW!"

"Mew."

"Mow?"

"Mew."

"Mom?"

"Mew."

"Denise?"

"Huh. Yes, Denise." Celebi saw Azelf and Mesprit talking and went to join in.

"Talk to you later Mew!" Mew just gawked at her.

"How can you stand to be in a relationship with a girl with a brain the size of a peanut?" Uxie asked, coming towards him. Talking in a strangely British accent.

"Shut up Limey!" Rotom answered back.

"There was no call for that. I just wanted to see how my two favourite chaps were doing. Oh and Darkrai was freaking me out." Darkrai then rushed in front of them.

"Hey! I'm the Freddy Cougher of pokemon!" He then rushed off. **(always wanted to make that joke!)**

"Well...okay?" Mew answered. "Anyway, do all British people talk like that?" Uxie nodded.

"Pretty much. Yeah."

"Shut up, Limey!" Rotom yelled.

"We get it Rotom! You're racist!" Manaphy shouted to him.

"Word." Mew added, causing strange glances to be casted towards him. Celebi then glomped him again.

"Hi Mew!"

"I thought you were calling me Denise now!" Mew exasperated. Celebi looked confused.

"Who's Denise?"

"No you were calling Mew Denise." Uxie explained.

"Mew's name is Denise."

"No but that was what you said."

"That doesn't sound like something I'd say."

"I...But..." Uxie stutterer. He then sighed. "Look. Mew's name is Mew!"

"Then who's Denise?"

"There is no Denise!"

"What?" She then turned to Mew. "Did you know, Mew?"

"Mew doesn't know Denise!" Rotom interjected.

"Then why did you say he did?" She asked.

"WE DIDN'T YOU DID!" Rotom and Uxie shouted at the same time.

"Now that's just silly." She then grabbed Mew's paw. "Now c'mon stud! It's time for our make out session!" She then dragged him off.

"I suppose that answers you question, Uxie." Rotom replied. "She must be extremely be good at making out, or REALLY good in the sack." Uxie nodded.

"Indeed." Rotom glared.

"Shut up, Limey!"

* * *

Ml54: I hope you find it funny. Review if you want and review a joke or scene if you wnat it in there.


	2. Chapter 2

MewLover54: Hey guys. Again, sorry for the lack of origina material. But I hope you enjoy this. I don't own Pokemon or Yugioh, and a majority of the jokes belong to Little Kuriboh.

**Battle Time**

"Hey, it's your turn Rotom. Quit daydreaming about Phione and make a move!" Mew said at the table, annoyed that their card game had been delayed.

"Well sorry for trying to get the nerve to talk to a girl rather than play a children's card game." Rotom complained. Azelf sighed while she, Mesprit, Uxie and Celebi watched them.

"I can't believe Arceus is just letting us do this during a meeting." She voiced to them.

"Well, as she had said herself, card games are everything around here." Uxie replied.

"Hey guys!" Jirachi called to them. "Can I be in this chapter?"

"Sorry Jirachi, main characters only." Mew said.

"Bollocks." His reply came as he walked away.

"Hey look! A card game!" Celebi said, pointing to the cards on the table that Rotom and Mew were duelling on. The others sighed.

"Celebi. This is the same card game that we had been watching for the past six hours." Mesprit said.

"Wow. They usually take this long?"

"Actually this one is going surprisingly quickly." Azelf answered. "Hey guys, slow down a bit."

"Hey!" Mew and the others turned to see a Garchomp standing there. "You there! Duel me!"

"Why should I? And further more, how did you even get here? The Hall of Origins is a Legendary only zone."

"Oh please." Garchomp replied. "How Legendary can this place be? Rotom's here."

"Well can't argue there." Mew replied.

"Um. Why are we friends again?" Rotom asked. Mew shrugged.

"Don't blame me, blame the writer. He's probably on crack." **(Don't judge me! It's GOOD stuff :D) **

"And as for who I am. I'm Garchomp. Owner of DragonCorp. I have lots of money. Now duel me!" Mew raised an eyebrow.

"Having lots of money doesn't mean I should duel you."

"I would go to the press and say that you had destroyed a scientific lab and killed millions of innocent humans..."

"Oh, he actually did that." Celebi answered. Garchomp's jaw dropped as he stared at Mew.

"They were asking for it. They were talking about me in a very bad way. I mean, they were saying that a pink pokemon kept putting people to sleep! I am not that boring!" Mew defensively replied.

"Mew..." Uxie started. "Do you not think they may have been talking about Jigglypuff's Sing attack."

…

…

…

"Oh. I suppose they COULD have been. Anyway, there's no thing as bad press! Unless you're in the BNP. They get A LOT of bad press."

Meanwhile in Veilstone City

"Extra! Extra! BNP are dicks! Read all about it!"

Back in the Hall

"Well what if I was to go bwark bwark. And made gestures at you to make you seem like a chicken."

"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Mew called out in horror.

"Then duel!"

"Fine!"

On the DragonCorp Duel Field. Yes they have a Duel Field. Deal with it.

"Let's duel." They both said.

"I summon my Feral Imp!" The green fiend came to the field and crouched in front of him. **(lv.4 atk:1300 def:1400)** "Holy poop! Real monsters!"

"Of course not. That would be completely unrealistic. The slots on the field zones in front of you reads the card, searches the database for that cards designated hologram and projects it onto the field."

"Oh yeah. That's MUCH more realistic." Mew mocked.

"Shut up!"

"UXIE What's that thing?" Celebi asked, pointing at Feral Imp.

"A bald Pikachu riding a Rapidash. How the bloody Hell should I know?" Celebi just stared. Then turned.

"Hey look! A Duel!" Uxie sighed.

"I summon my three Blue-Eyes White Dragons!" He said, with three white scaled, blue-eyed dragons took to the field. **3x(lv.8 atk:3000 def:2500)**

"Wait a minute. Did you just summon a whole bunch of monsters on your first turn?" Mew asked.

"Yeah so?"

"That's against the rules isn't it?"

"Screw the rules I have money!" Garchomp had replied.

"Fine." Mew grumbled. "I wish I had enough money to screw the rules. I can't believe I blew it all on that stupid Harry Potter wand only to find out that it was a stick with the word magic scratched into it."

"OH MY GOD! Uxie what's that thing?" Celebi asked, pointing to one of the dragons.

"A Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Garchomp said so five minutes ago!" Uxie answered.

"Well it's my turn!" Mew welled.

"Uxie! What's that thing?" Celebi yelled, pointing at Mew.

"Celebi. That's Mew."

"Yeah, yeah. Just draw your last pathetic card so I can win this duel."

"My deck has no pathetic cards Garchomp...except for maybe Kuriboh. But it does have the unstoppable Exodia!" Mew yelled, as a pentagram appeared and Exodia came out.

"No Exodia! No one's ever been able to summon him!" Garchomp exclaimed.

"Because he's so rare?" Mew smirked.

"No! Because this game makes no sense! It makes QI's scoring system almost understandable!" Exodia then fired a powerful surge of energy at the three dragons and finished him off.

"That's why I'm Mew!"

"Uxie! What's that thing?" Celebi yelled, pointing at Mew.

"Celebi. That's still Mew."

* * *

ML54: Again sorry. I will definately try to come up with something original. Review please.


	3. Chapter 3

ML54: Alot of the jokes I can say that I have made up myself, although there is the slightest chance I may have picked them up from somewhere else, so please tell me if you have as well.

Mew: ML54 doesn't own Pokemon or the Fourth Wall.

**Mystery**

"Wow. What is she doing?" Rotom asked, indicating to Celebi who was spinning on the spot.

"I don't know. Maybe we should ask?" Mew asked. Azelf nodded.

"Hey Celebi! What are you doing?" Celebi stopped and faced them.

"I was trying to find my scarf. So I went to ask Mewtwo if he knew where they were..."

_Flashback_

_Celebi looked to the left and then to the right of the corridor of the Hall..._

"Hey! How did I do that?" The others looked confused.

"Do what?" Azelf asked.

"Well...It was all blurry and the font was a sort of _h_ shaped." Mew slapped his forehead.

"Cel'. That's a flashback. You have them so the readers of the story have a better understanding of what happened." He explained.

"And now we've broken the fourth wall!" Rotom exclaimed.

"What's the fourth wall?" Celebi asked.

"Where reality and imagination are separated." Uxie explained, shaking his head. "And while we're at it, this is the first scene in this abridged that the lazy writer is making his own jokes. Well done him."

"Shut up Limey!" The writer, MewLover54 shouted with Rotom. "Now I've completely shattered the fourth wall, so Celebi. You asked Mewtwo where your scarf was?" Celebi nodded.

"Well I asked him..."

_Flashback_

_Celebi entered Mewtwo's lab where he was trying to come up with a formula to end world hunger..._

"Wait! Mewtwo ending world hunger." Azelf asked. Celebi shook her head.

"Key word TRYING. I didn't say succeeding." The others stared at her.

"Celebi..." Mew began. "Say something smart." Celebi stared at him.

"Something smart." Celebi repeated, causing the others to face palm.

"Forget it. Back to the flashback." MewLover54 decided.

"Why should we do what you say?" Azelf asked.

"Because if you don't I'll write you out of the story. Remember what happened to Jirachi?"

"Who the Hell is Jirachi?" Mesprit asked.

"Exactly." Uxie sighed.

"And back to using LittleKuriboh jokes." MewLover54 glared at Jirachi.

"Just the click of the fingers. And out of here!" He then turned to Celebi. "Now continue."

"Okay!" She said, stupidly.

_Flashback_

"_Hey son! Have you seen my Scarf?" Mewtwo glared at the happy go stupid Pokemon._

"_No! And just because you are dating my dad, doesn't mean you're my mom!" Celebi smiled anyhow. "Maybe they're stuck to your big butt!"_

"_Okay! I'll try their! Thanks!" She then zoomed to where we are now._

_And then the others came._

"_Wow. What is she doing?" Rotom said..._

"We know that bit Celebi!" Rotom yelled. "We were there!"

"You were? Cool. Now I need to find my scarf!" With that she carried on spinning, like a Lilipup trying to catch it's tail.

"Do you think I should tell her that her scarf is on our bedside table?" Mew asked.

"Yeah. And maybe you should tell her it's the middle of June." Uxie replied, indicating to the bright, sunny day out the window.

"Okay I'll tell her..." They all stared at her for a bit. "In maybe ten minutes or so..."

"How is she not dizzy yet?" Azelf asked, outstanded by how long she's been doing this.

"Well I'll go get Palkia to help me repair the fourth wall again..." MewLover54 then looked at Celebi. "In a little bit... This is strangely memorizing."

* * *

ML54: Review if you found it funny, review if you have a way of making it better, but please no flames.


	4. Chapter 4

ML54: I don't own Pokemon or a lot of the jokes. Situation was provided by guest reviewer.

**Rap Battle**

"Hey Mew!" Rotom called to the pink cat, who was relaxing under a tree in the Hall's garden. Yes they have a garden, deal with it!

"Didn't we already make that joke?" Mew asked. As soon as this was said though, a shattering appeared beside the pair, looking into the room of a 17 year old boy type this very chapter on his laptop right now.

"MEW!" ML54 shouted at him, while typing it down so Mew knew what he was saying. "You idiot! You broke the Fourth Wall again! You've go to stop doing that!" Palkia sighed, appearing through a tear that he created.

"Ya crazy Jews! You went and broke my Wall of the Fourth again!" **(I'm sorry if you think what he's going to be saying in this fic is offensive, but he's just one of those offensive stereotype characters. Again, sorry.) **"Who is the little Jew boy apologising too, while also scratching his balls?"

"The readers! And shut up you offensive stereotype!" ML54 shouted in embarrassment.

"Mew! This is why we want the Fourth Wall to stay up!" Mew tilted his head to the side at his friend's statement.

"Why?"

"Because no-one likes Palkia."

"Oh yeah!" Just then, Jirachi came up to them.

"Hey guys. Can I be in this chap..." Palkia suddenly Spacial Rended him. "Oh BOLLOCKS!"

"Little British limey will not appear in chapter or I will be forced to get my army of women slaves to feast on your flesh. I haven't fed them in weeks." Rotom sighed.

"C'mon Mew. Let's help him repair the wall." Mew raised a pokebrow.

"Um...Why should we?"

"Because the sooner it's done, the sooner Palkia gets the Hell out of here." Mew just stared blankly at him.

"Because if we leave it too long the very order of both universes will collapse." More blank staring.

"Because I'll kick your ass if you don't!"

"Oookay! Good point! Let's fix this wall!" Mew turned to see that ML54 was not there. "Hey! Where's the writer?"

"Little Jew boy went to have sexy time in the bathroom!" Rotom raised his pokebrow.

"He took his laptop?"

"He has fetishes. He's a furry!" ML54 then came out wearing an Oshawott suit.

"I'm not a furry! I'm a Poke!" He crossed his arms. "We're guys who are pretty much the same as furries, but with Pokemon instead." Mew and Rotom's eyes twitched as a girl dressed as a Snivy dragged him back into the bathroom.

"Get this wall rebuilt NOW!" Rotom yelled, quickly trying to nail a piece of plywood to the wall. Palkia sighed.

"My first wife was much more effective at cooking than you are at repairing. Which is not very well, she kept accidentally putting poison in my food."

Suddenly a rock hit Mew in the back of the head. "Ow! Who threw that?!" Rotom glanced back with Mew and sighed.

"Oh, it's only that creepy guy Giritina." He answered, causing Me to look at him funny.

"He isn't that creep..."

"I am the manifestation of darkness and chaos! Fear me!" Giritina suddenly said, looking down so a shadow was cast onto who face.

There was a long pause before Mew had said. "Oookay...kinda see where you're coming from."

"HI MEWY!" Celebi had said, appearing out of no-where and glomping Mew from behind. Causing Mew to hit the floor.

"OWW! Celebi where did you come from?" Celebi smiled goofily, pulling Mew up with her.

"Blame my parents Mew."

"You don't have parents Celebi." Rotom dead panned causing Celebi to tear up.

"What?! I'm an orphan!" Rotom sighed and just decided to ignore Celebi. "Tell me!"

"In my day, all girl orphans were killed. And all boy orphans were slaves who were worked until they were killed. So basically orphans equal dead. Yeah." They decided to ignore Palkia as well.

"No you're not. And you're parents ARE Suicune and Raikou. They're just...not very good parents. Okay?" Mew had said, shrugging. Celebi gasped and smiled widely.

"Okay!" Giritina grinned evilly.

"I challenge you to a rap battle Mew!" Mew glanced back. "Winner gets the loser's soul!"

"But what value does the other's soul have to us?"

"I don't know...but I want it anyway...Or $20?" Mew put on a fake thinking look.

"Hmm...My life or $20? Tough choice." Giritina then had a brainstorm.

"Or the loser has to tell everyone in the Legendary Council that their penis is the size of a cocktail sausage with a pair of peanuts." Celebi then blurted out.

"But that's not true. Mew's penis is HU..." Mew clamped his paw over her mouth.

"Celebi now is not the time nor the place to be discussing this."

"Sexy time?"

"No! Not sexy time Palkia!" Palkia curse, before ditching the place through a space vacuum which would normally suck them all through with him. Meh, details. "So anyway, $20?"

"Sure!" Giritina grinned. "You start!"

"look girl I ain't being racist,  
but just look at you and face it  
your hair is like a pan-scrubber your the size of a whale

and you need to stop chasing those doughnuts in the mail

on the treadmill 5 hours a day

without any delay

you're just too big so get you're earth sized face out of my way! Done."

Giritina coughed. "ok then. Boy ehhum...

You need too wash your face

you big disgrace

you're an insult to the pokemon race

your pimping in you're car thinking you're bad

but really everyone thinks you're really mad

so please don't be sad

with you're fanny like pink fur people tink you're not even a lad,

so just don't be shy

to give me an evil eye

just cause your an ugly looking guy

I've now finished my song so see ya turaa byeee! Done!" Giritina grinned, Mew glaring daggers at him.

"That was so lame! And just FYI. My fur is not fanny coloured. Celebi's is more red than anything." Mew retorted, hoping to get Celebi back for her comment earlier. It failed however.

"It sure is! Want to see?!" Rotom and Giritina shook their heads frantically, the former stopping her hands from going any lower.

"That's okay Cel'. But I bet you've never even seen any to compare anyway. Since you were rapping like I need to pee. Badly!" As he said this, he rushed into the conveniently placed bathroom. Can Pokemon use a toilet? Meh, details.

"Hello Chaps." Jirachi announced, floating into the room. "And how are you doing this fine day?"

"Shut u..."

"No you shut up you wanker! I finally have some screen time and I'm bloody well enjoying it!" Everyone was quiet until Mew came out the bathroom, holding a muffin.

"Where did that come from Mew?" Giritina asked, them all having conveniently forgotten about the bet.

"I just pressed the muffin making button."

"But there isn't a muffin making button in there." Jirachi pointed out. Mew just stared at the treat in his paws.

"Then where did I get this muffin from?"

"WOW! ML54 is now making TeamFourStar jokes too. Well, at least some of it is his. He's still using LittleKuriboh and Shadyvox jokes too." Suddenly, the shattering appeared again. The same boy, now dressed as a Dewott sat there typing to a girl dressed as a Servine. He turned.

"What?" ML54 asked. "Me and her evolved." Palkia appeared again.

"Sexy time?"

"NO!" They all shouted, but Celebi who grabbed Mew's paw.

"It is for us!" Celebi then dragged him into the bathroom. Rotom then shook his head of the thoughts that had been entering it.

Until. "SCREW IT! PHIONE!" He then rushed off to find the, always up for it, Water type. Jirachi just chuckled.

"It's good to finally have some sort of role in this." He said, with a dark look appearing in his eyes.

* * *

ML54: I felt that the disclaimer in this story doesn't really need to be here for the comic relief bit, so I'll just go for saying review but don't flame.


	5. Chapter 5

ML54: I'm not sure if what I've got here is illegal or not, but I'd like to say that I don't own Pokemon or have any opinions on polotics what so ever.

**Randomness**

"Hey Mew! Hey Mew! Hey Mew! Hey Mew!" Mew sighed, irritably, and turned to look at Phione.

"What is it?!" He responded. Right now the pair were sent by Arceus to find Jirachi who had, in her words, gone ape-shit.

"Are we there yet?"

"No!" There was a pause of about three seconds.

"Now?"

"No!" Another three seconds.

"How about now?"

"No!" You guessed it, three seconds later.

"Now?"

"NO!"

"Mew?"

"WHAT?!" Phione pointed to the island on the left of them.

"Isn't that the island we were supposed to go to?" Mew stopped. Then three seconds later.

"DAMN IT!" He turned round and rushed back towards the island they just passed.

"Mew?"

"What?"

"...Are we there yet?" Mew clamped his paws into fists and landed on his feet on the ground in front of Jirachi who had a sinister look in his eyes.

"Yes. Now let's get Jirachi and go. You're grating on my last nerve."

"Ooh! Is it made of cheese?!" Mew glared back at her.

"Okay I was wrong. Celebi isn't the dumbest Pokemon in the world." Phione whistled.

"Hey! Jirachi's going to take offence to that!" Jirachi glared at her.

"He was talking about you, you porridge brained, buffoon." Mew twitched.

"Uh oh, his Britishness has overpowered him." He smirked back.

"Yes, and my Britishness has now converted me to the evil side..." Mew and Phione's eyes widened in fear.

"No! You don't mean!"

"That's right!" Jirachi declared, putting on a blue ribbon. "I am now an official supporter of the Conservative Party!"

"NOOOO! Why Jirachi?! I thought you had class!" Mew then cracked up. "Actually that's a lie, I never thought that."

Jirachi glared back. "You don't seem to know that you are now facing the most evil organisation in the whole world. With our pay cuts and poshness, we'll rule the world!"

"Not if we can stop you!" Phione declared. Jirachi puffed.

"Please, what are you going to do?" There was a pause of about three seconds, before Phione threw a rock at him. "Ow! What the buggering frig was that for?!"

"You asked what I was going to do?"

"I meant to tell me you tart!" The wish maker argued.

"Okay. I'm going to throw a rock at you."

"It's too late now you twit!"

"Whatever! Just prepare for your defeat!" Mew interrupted, stepping forward. Jirachi shook his head in amusement.

"I'd like to see how you'll defeat me." Phione threw another rock at him. "TELL ME YOU WANKER!"

"Well, I'll just get a leader for the Labour Party!"

"The Labour Party already has a leader." Mew widened his eyes I shock.

"Really who?"

"Ed Milliband." Mew laughed.

"No seriously, who?" Jirachi stared at him until he stopped laughing. Mew then opened his mouth in shock. "Oh God you're serious? Who the Hell thought THAT was a good idea?!"

"It doesn't matter. You aren't going to be able to get a new leader for them for a while. And with Nick Clegg as our personal lap dog, there's nothing you can do to stop us!" Phione threw another rock at him. "STOP THAT!"

"I'm trying to stop you!" Mew was about to argue, but then shut his mouth and shrugged, throwing a rock at him.

"STOP THROWING ROCKS AT ME OR I'LL BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!"

"Why should we care?" Mew asked.

"Palkia will have to come and fix it."

"Oh good God you're right! Please don't!" Mew begged, unconsciously rubbing his arms. "That army of women slaves he has thought I was food!"

"Don't worry Mew, he can't break the fourth wall if he doesn't say anything about it!"

"Wait, shouldn't we have broken it, like, four times over by now?" Jirachi facepalmed himself and floated off.

"Whatever, just be prepared to bow before us soon enough! There'll be nothing you can do to stop us!" Jirachi laughed, maniacally, as he floated though a portal into an alternate world. Phione threw a rock in after him.

Jirachi then enter the world as the rock hit him. "OH BOLLOCKS!" He cried out, rubbing his head. "Being in this universe has somehow caused that to hurt a lot more!"

"That matters not now Jirachi..." A man said in a leather, rotating chair. "As long as we get all the money of the Pokemon World, everything should go according to plan. "They can throw all the rocks they want, it won't make a difference."

Jirachi bowed. "Yes Lord Cameron." The man in the chair swivelled round to revealed David Cameron.

* * *

ML54: As I said, I don't actually think polotics works like this or that David Cameron is an evil mastermind. Tis just here for comedic purposes. Please no flaming.


End file.
